How to Conversation-Flow

My chat with Robyn Stratton-Berkessel reminded me.

Some conversations flow. Many never do.

Robyn Stratton-Berkessel is a self-decribed Positivity Strategist, Appreciative Inquiry Aficionado, Author, dedicated to the co-creation of better futures.

Robyn and I share interests. But when I was a guest on Robyn’s Positivity Podcast last week, I thought to myself,you have been a guest on many podcasts, usually with a shared-interests-host, and not all of the chats flowed.

It takes two. Robyn and I conversation-flowed. I cannot MAKE a conversation flow all by myself. But I sure as heck can GET OUT OF THE WAY to allow for flow.

Consider these simple Conversation-Flow Principles:

  1. Be in service of the conversation.

Shared interest doesn’t get us a great conversation. If anything, it can create a limiting and limited one. Check your ego at the door. Notice the themes that emerge. Be in service of the conversation, not your ego. The moment you want to be the show-stopper, you become the flow-stopper.

  1. Ride the energy wave.

More than words, more than clever repartee. At its core, flow is the experience of energy in motion. Do not force abrupt conversational shifts. Do not yank the conversation out to left field. Avoid sudden turns. Great conversations evolve as they organically shift in tone and energy. Gracefully, unforced. These shifts happen because we ride one energy wave with our conversation partner.

  1. Toss the expected narrative.

Podcast hosts like to send me a list of questions before we speak. I never read them. I will follow you wherever you take me, I said to Robyn in our pre-taping call. I DID follow Robyn. Robyn DID follow me. The conversation flowed because we both ditched the canned, well-rehearsed narratives. Encouraged the switch from expected to unexpected. Soared without the net.

  1. Desire discovery.

A favorite moment in any conversation is when I startle myself. Words tumble out of my mouth and I think to myself, where the heck did that came from? In that moment I have outsmarted my ego. Dipped into my subconscious, given it form. Surprised the heck out of myself. I reach this moment of discovery by trusting that I have prepared enough, know enough, edited myself enough. And decide to let go.

Be patient. It takes two to flow. Flow will not happen with everybody. But please, go and toy with these Flow Principles this week.


And if I have sufficiently peeked your interest, do drop in and listen to my chat with the high-flow Robyn Stratton-Berkessel.

Click here to listen to my chat with the inspired Robyn Stratton-Berkessel